Gentleness is the quality of being mild mannered, kind, or tender. Another definition that I like is softness of action or effect; lightness. We encourage others to be gentle when handling a newborn baby, a playful puppy, or even a soft kitten. But, have you considered being gentle with those whose actions may not be so deserving?
As you ponder upon that question, I will share a brief story. I was nineteen years old and had begun a new chapter in my life after graduating from a community college. I got a job in my area of study in a town nearby and was traveling back and forth to work each day. I had purchased a dependable used car and was feeling mature and all grown up.
One day while traveling home from work, the door to the driver side of my car would not close properly. Without saying, trying to get home while driving the 5-speed stick shift and holding the door closed was a challenge. The more I drove, the more frustrated I became. This was a new car, at least for me, and it should not be having this issue. By the time I got home I was not just frustrated, I was furious.
My father happened to be sitting in our family’s living room as I walked through the door. In my anger I vomited all my venom on him and demanded that he fix my car. Once I said my piece, I was shocked at what I had just done. I waited for this Marine, now pastor, to respond with what I deserved. I had never spoken in disrespect to my father as I had at that moment. I waited in a strange and long silence while my father sat with his hand held over his mouth as his arm rested on his chair.
At last, he looked very gently at me and softly replied, “Ok, Angela, I will fix your car.” The fact that he used my full name, Angela, as he always called me Angie, was enough to know that he was restraining himself from what he truly wanted to do or say. Yet, he did the opposite. He did not give me what my actions deserved. In that moment, he saw through who I was choosing to be to give me what I needed. His mercy towards me triumphed over his judgment of me.
I encourage you to always be gentle in your actions, deeds, and responses. It is very true that a soft answer does turn away wrath. My dad’s response to my unjust verbal attack shocked me and brought me back to my senses. I will never forget his gentleness for it has made a lasting impression on me as to how I want to be. Remember, you can choose to be gentle and get better results in any situation. Your efforts will not be in vain. Stand firm. It’s a good time to be you!
Peace and Joy,
Coach Angela